Background info before y'all get on the defense...

 

That's a cat on my head drinking a beer.

 

 

I'm obligated to share some personal info in a half hearted attempt to advert any negativity, hatefulness, argumentative behavior or complete meltdown in the patrons of this new endeavor of mine. I'm under the impression that if you are familiar with my generally bad behavior (and strange sense of humor) then I become more able to tolerate. No? Yes.

 

I'm emotionless. I know this because I've been told. My mother claims its because she didn't show me enough affection in my critical years. I've researched this and apparently the critical years were the ones I was playing with my own excrement and eating anything that made its way into my fat fingers. Although we both may share a mutual distaste for each other stemming from the years preceding the critical ones, my mother is not to blame. I'm just unapologetically cold hearted.

 

I'm more of a man than most men. I prefer guys shirts; I have long arms and pearl snaps will never go out of style. I also prefer guy activities; beer, eating until I'm sick, cussing and irritating women. I have a man job, I'm a farrier. I sweat profusely, use expensive tools in a very physically demanding fashion and I'm proud of it albeit crippled at 25 short years of life. If you do not know what a farrier is, or you have not actively been attempting to self educate, then you do not belong here.

 

I'm dangerous...or fun. No. Definitely dangerous. They mean the same thing, right? I habitually taunt men, bucking horses give me goose bumps and the governors on pickups are for people who do not know what governors are. I'm not a trouble maker, except on a small scale; I thoroughly enjoy debating, the devil's advocate was my calling in life. I might be a little wild, born 100 years too late and assuredly the wrong gender. But, really, I guess I was born just in time; the boys just grin and bear it when I get in the way.

 

I'm a 'glass half full' type of person. I have a hard time enjoying less than a half of a glass of whiskey anyway. Its easy to be optimistic when there's so much I want to do and so much life left to discover.

 

I'm a 'glass half empty' type of person. That's when I'm ready for a refill. Its easy to be pessimistic when I'm surrounded by hoards of mindless robots. The lights are on but nobody is home.

 

What you really need to know though, and the reason why I've decided I need an outlet for my thankless ramblings, can be wrapped up into two tidy little categories;

• I do not tolerate blatant stupidity, and
• I am a hopelessly deep thinker when I've drank in excess of a bottle of wine.